“Holding a grudge & harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul. Get even with people…but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
Sometimes the most valuable lessons in life come at unexpected times from unexpexcted sources. This past week I listened to a TV show called “Fear Thy Neighbor” on one of the Discovery networks. It happened to be on in the background while I was grooming a Bichon Frise, so I listened to the story. It was really fascinating, and I’m so excited to share what I learned!
The episode began by introducing the new neighbors, and things seem pleasant at first. But then the wife starts acting weird. Long story short, the crazy new neighbor ended up blowing herself up in a rented utility van full of homemade explosives. She was planning on parking it in front of her neighbors’ house while they slept in the middle of the night so she could blow them up! Would you believe me if I told you it all started with an argument about flowers and snails?
These quotes are from articles online regarding the incident:
- “Pacifica Police Capt. Michael Blagrove said ‘a likely scenario’ in Duffy’s death was that she was parked on the road to seek revenge against her former neighbor, Jill Menicucci. Menicucci, 33, said their feud began in 1995, after she planted some flowers on a strip of land between their two houses. Duffy complained the flowers were on her land and attracted snails, then poisoned them.” http://www.fergusfallsjournal.com/1999/02/bombing-victim-had-ties-to-ff/
- “Menicucci said the problems started when she planted some flowers on a strip of land between their two houses. Duffy complained that the land was her property and that the flowers brought snails. So Duffy dumped poison on the blooms.” http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Pacfica-Woman-Says-Tiff-Grew-Into-Threats-2950547.php
In that episode of “Fear Thy Neighbor”, Jill Menicucci said something that really stood out to me: I never could’ve imagined that all of this would come from something so random like flowers and snails. (Paraphrased to the best of my recollection)
The next episode was about a disagreement between a man and his new neighbor about where the property line was supposed to be. The new neighbor hired a surveyor to prove it was his land, but that didn’t matter. In the end the new neighbor was killed by gunshot during their last, heated argument. Killed over 3 feet of land…
Neither one was willing to let it go. Because they couldn’t let 3 feet of land go, one ended up 6 feet under while the other one ended up behind bars for the rest of his life. Both lives destroyed because they refused to give in to the other. In their effort to “keep what’s mine”, they lost everything.
The lesson here is whenever you feel wronged by someone – maybe someone treated you unfairly or took something from you – just let it go. Dr. Wayne Dyer reminded us that, “There are no justified resentments.”
To hold onto resentment towards someone, even if it seems justified, means to poison your own body & health. It’s not worth your peace of mind, and it’s really not worth an early grave!
The Buddha said that holding onto resentment is like holding a burning coal to throw it at your enemy. You’re the one who gets burned.
It’s all just flowers and snails. There’s no need to blow up over it – literally!
“It is always better to be kind than to be right.” Dr. Wayne Dyer